Vows update
Sunday Brunch (detail) by me
As you may recall, a couple of weeks ago I took a vow to not gossip, complain, or entertain negative thoughts. It went, for the most part, well.
The first day, I was happy and high from the newness and lightness of it. I felt powerful and in control of my darker impulses. A couple of days later, I started to get down and keeping a lid on those three behaviors became more challenging. I think I did keep them to a minimum, though.
I worried I wouldn’t have anything to talk about if I didn’t gossip. That didn’t prove to be as much of a problem as I feared, especially because I didn’t try to stop those around me from talking about whatever they wanted. Also, it challenged me to think of “real” topics for discussion.
I learned that behavior can alter mood, which is not a small thing. The less I entertained bad thoughts, the less often they came to me. Also, to think more about what comes out of my mouth before it does so is a very good feeling. Sometimes I had to think about whether or not something counted as gossip, which can be tricky. Ultimately, though, I know inside if I’m committing “wrong speech”.
I will keep trying to not indulge those three behaviors.
The next week I took a vow to not qualify things I say. I feared this one more. I have a terrible habit of prefacing most of what I say with, “You probably know this already…”, “It’s just my opinion, but…”, or “Don’t take this the wrong way, but…”.
It’s annoying to others, wastes time, and denigrates what I say.
I need to extend it to this week because I don’t think I did well last week. I kind of gave up mid-way through.
I have my next vow planned, so stay tuned.
